To my beautiful boys:
Happy 1st Birthday! Wow! It doesn't seem like one year has gone by since I said hello and goodbye to you. One year...really...it can't be! February 8th was not suppose to be your birthday...well...acutally...maybe it was. Who knows why God chose for that to be your special day...only He does...and I'm praying someday I will know why too. But until then I am comforted knowing that you are in His arms and He is taking care of you until your daddy and I get up there. And I'm sure your big sister is keeping tabs on you as well :) I wonder what you are doing for your birthday...probably having a big cake and some ice cream...if you were here we'd be having that for you...and maybe even a snowball fight as it has been snowing all day here...such a pretty sight. But instead we are just remembering you today and thanking God for your lives and how they've touched ours and many other people...you truly are two special little boys! We miss you so...we miss watching you grow and hitting your milestones...we miss your little noises that we never really got to hear...we miss your little bodies, which were just perfect even at such a young age...we miss just the very thought of you in our lives...we miss you. And now you have a new little sister who has come into our lives and she is bringing us such great joy. She will never replace you but will just add to the beauty that our family already is. I sometimes struggle with that. I don't want people to think that we were trying to replace you...and I know they don't really think that. I also feel guilty because I am so happy that she is in our family...and if you were here with us...she probably wouldn't have been. But God knew that Natalee was suppose to be our little girl and she was suppose to be your sister. And as Pastor Don said in his sermon the other day...God has taken us, your mom and dad, down a path that has led us to Natalee being in our family and He has great plans for us and her life. And we give Him all the Glory...because as you know boys...God is good, all the time! Well we love you so much and can't wait to be reunited with you someday! Until then be good (I don't really think you can be bad in Heaven) and give your big sis a kiss (ewe! I know!) from me. And watch over your little sister her on Earth...she's not as blessed as you are...she's going to have to face a scrapped up knee, having her heart broken, being sick, and countless other things that we have to deal with here on earth. Although we would wish you back in a heartbeat we know that you two are in a much better place and we sleep peacefully at night knowing this is the truth!
With all my love Owen and Cooper~
Mommy
Owen Timothy
Owen, I will never forget the moment they laid you on my chest. I couldn't believe that you were actually here with us. You were a little turkey...by the time I got to the hospital you already had your legs into the birth canal...I guess you couldn't wait to meet us either! You were so perfect and so tiny. I watched your chest rise and fall until they told me that you were gone. I cherished those 19 minutes with you and can't wait for another 19 more!
Cooper James
Cooper, I did ask God to let us keep you and ask that you would stay in but God must have known that your brother would need you in Heaven with him as you came into this world the moment your brother left us. When the nurse placed you on my chest you just made these little squeaks. I think you were a true fighter and you were going to fight for as much time here with us as possible. We treasured the 19 minutes that you were alive with us and we treasured the rest of that day that we got to just hold you and your brother and get to know you two. You also were so perfect and so tiny. You and Owen each had your own unique looks to you yet you could tell that you were twins. Sometimes looking at pictures of you two (when you're not together) I have a hard time telling you apart. Until we meet again son...I love you!
Two tiny beautiful boys who are loved so much and missed even more!
