Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Another Week

Hi all! Hope this blog finds you all doing well! We are doing good. Few sad times here for me but doing well. On Sunday we went to church and of course we had to sing the song that brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it now...followed up by It Is Well With My Soul...tears tears tears! The song was Blessed Be The Name...for those of you who don't know the song, these are the lyrics...it's not until the bridge that I really lose it...here they are:

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be
'Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
(here it is folks...tears!)
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

That song followed by the lyrics from It is well with my soul:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot,
Thou has taught me to say,
It is well,
it is well, with my soul.
It is well,
with my soul,
It is well,
with my soul,
It is well,
it is well,
with my soul.
Those are two very meaningful songs for me...it gives me the hope and promise that we will be able to get through this time...even though sometimes it seems so tough. I just wish I had her here to hold. I feel like I am starting to get to the point of being a little jealous of others and I don't want to be that way. I know I just have to be patient and wait for what God has in store for us...but I'm getting a little antsy! :) So please pray for me that I will be able to be patient and that time for me wouldn't seem to be going so slow! I can't believe I'm writing that because just yesterday I said that I couldn't believe we are half way through July...half way through summer! I guess time is going fast (maybe just not fast enough sometimes). Anyway...I'll quit babbling. One more thing...I have been reading Angie Smith's blog...one of you had lead me there...she also lost her daughter in April and it's been kinda nice reading what she is going through and feeling that I am not alone in what I am feeling. She wrote the other day that she just wanted to dig into the dirt and to wrap her daughter in a blanket...I have had those thoughts so many time...I just want to go...dig Emmalee up...wrap her up...and just rock her and hold her tight. I just want her...I want to see her...hold her...kiss her...love on her. And I can't...and I thought those thoughts were almost sick...like why would I want to go and unbury my daughter...but reading her blog made me realize that it was a normal thing to think...that we miss our daughters so much that we just want to be with them...and just sitting in the cemetery is not enough...oh well...it will have to be until I get to heaven and can be with her forever. Until that day I will rely on God and His strength and love to get me through. Well thank you all for letting me share all this with you...it is kinda like therapy for me to be able to write all this down. Have a great week all.

4 comments:

Karen & Chad said...

Thank you for continuing to bare your soul with us! I am encouraged my your "realness" and vulnerability. Just wanted you to know we are still here....reading your blog and praying for you.

Anonymous said...

Ali - you are way beyond normal. I love you! You and Jon are loved by a boatload of people, but as you know, still you have to walk the road alone (but for God's strong arms - I know you know Hi IS holding you!) as He leads. Remember Jeremiah 29:11 - He does have a plan darlin' and you have a special place in it.
love as always, mary

Anonymous said...

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, dearest Ali, and lean not on your own understanding...and God will direct your path. A precious promise we need to cling to when we try to figure out the circumstances of Emma's short life. You have amazed me these past months with your unwavering faith in God's plan...wait upon Him for the next phase in your life; you are allowing Him to use you...and He is! I thank God every day for His loving walk beside us these past months and for giving us such a strong bond with one another; I absolutely love being your mom! Emma has made us all embrace heaven a little more...

Big hugs and much love,
Mom

Carmine said...

The song "It is well with my soul" is even more meaningful when you know the story behind it:

Horatio Spafford wrote the song in 1873. He and his wife were grieving the death of their son when the Great Fire of Chicago took everything they had. He was a wealthy real estate investor, and all his buildings were lost. The family decided to take a trip to England. He sent his wife and 4 remaining daughters ahead, and he would come later because of business. The steamship tragically sank, and all 4 of his daughters died. His wife sent him a telegram from England saying, "Saved alone."
Horatio then boarded a ship to meet his wife in England. As the ship passed by the very spot where his daughters had been lost, he looked into the waters and penned the lyrics of this song. As he pondered how he had lost his wealth, his home, and all his children, he was still able to say it is well with my soul.

"When peace like a river attendeth my way...When sorrows like SEA BILLOWS ROLL..."

What an amazing testimony! Certainly my most favorite hymn!

Take care and peace to you this week,

Carmine Blinn