Here's to 2009!

As I said on the other blog...I can not believe that we are on the last day of 2008! Sometimes I'm tempted to say...well good riddance to 2008...but then I think...no...this was a great year. Sure it was filled with a lot of sadness and feelings that I wish I didn't have to feel...but 2008 also brought me my beautiful daughter and the experience to be a mom! And I wouldn't trade that for the world! This year was the year that Jon and I were suppose to have. I can't believe all that has come out of this year! A lot of growing was done. And God is giving us a happy ending to the year...so far everything seems to be going good with the twins...He's giving us the hope that we needed. Thank you to all of you who have been on this journey with us...I know I thank you a lot but I just want you all to know that we truly do appreciate you! Sorry that I didn't blog more during Christmas...it just seemed to get so busy...and then I didn't really feel like it...and then our Internet went down! But thank you to all who checked on us to see how this Christmas went...it wasn't as bad as I thought it could have been...it must have been all your prayers for us that guarded us! There were some times that were hard...like when all the kids at the Feldman's were opening up their present...you couldn't help but think that Emmalee should have been there. And then on Christmas Eve we went out to Valley Grove (where Emmalee is buried) and attended their service out there, just so we could be close to her and feel like we spent Christmas with her...even though that's only her body there...it just felt good to be close...but I bet she had the best Christmas ever...after all...she's spending it with the Christ Child in person...she may not have gotten to sit on Santa's lap but I think Jesus' lap would be much more comfortable! I'm so happy for her! Well I just want to wish you all a Happy New Year! I hope you all have a wonderful 2009...full of lots of happy moments! And I just want to encourage you all to be praying for all the other moms and dads out there who have lost children this year...being in this new "club" you realize how many people have lost babies and children...and my heart aches for them. Thank you for lifting them up as well! Until next time...

I couldn't figure it out

I couldn't figure out why I was feeling so weepy today....then I remembered that it would have been Emmalee's 8 month birthday. Wow...I still can't believe that! (And on a side note...today on my soap...I know...it's bad to watch them...it's my dirty little secret...I catch up on them when I am actually at home during the day...anyway...today on my soap they had to have a funeral for a little baby...I thought that was so unfair...it brought on so many tears!) Actually this whole week I have felt weepy and I'm sure some of that has to do with my raging hormones right now with these two little blessings inside of me! Truly a gift...as was Emmalee. She did give us all a gift, as most of you have told me how much her story has meant to you...her story seems to hit everyone a little different...hits you right where you are at. To me...that is truly a miracle. It still amazes me that God can use our circumstances to help others with theirs. Anyway...I just wanted to touch base with all of you. This Christmas season I think is going to be hard on me (and Jon for that matter)...like I've said before...all the first are hard. I think I'm going to be a little bit weepier...and I know I already feel like a Scrooge. I don't know what's up with me but I just can not get into the Christmas spirit! Isn't that awful! I think so. Part of it I think is losing Emmalee...the other is the miracles growing inside of me...they are making me awfully exhausted! Well I hope you all are enjoying the Christmas Season...it is getting really beautiful here in MN with all the snow we've been getting. And I'm very thankful for Christmas and for being able to celebrate Christ's birth. For with out that...I wouldn't have the assurance that my little girl is in Heaven and that someday I will get to see her again. Thank you Lord for sending your Son down to Earth for us...to die for our sins and be able to live with you in paradise someday...I thank you that you know my hurt, after all, your Son had to die as well...and I thank you for being there for us...all of us...ready to meet us where we are at. Have a wonderful Christmas everyone! Oh...and we took a tree out to Emmalee's grave...we decorated it the other night...I think it looks cute! We thought it'd be kind of a fun tradition for our family to decorate a tree for Emmalee every year. I also bought some solar powered lights...they hadn't charged yet so I think we are going to go out tomorrow night to see if they actually work...if not....they are going back to Target...those things were expensive! Well...I hope you like Emmalee's First Christmas Tree!

Love~
Ali