I couldn't figure it out

I couldn't figure out why I was feeling so weepy today....then I remembered that it would have been Emmalee's 8 month birthday. Wow...I still can't believe that! (And on a side note...today on my soap...I know...it's bad to watch them...it's my dirty little secret...I catch up on them when I am actually at home during the day...anyway...today on my soap they had to have a funeral for a little baby...I thought that was so unfair...it brought on so many tears!) Actually this whole week I have felt weepy and I'm sure some of that has to do with my raging hormones right now with these two little blessings inside of me! Truly a gift...as was Emmalee. She did give us all a gift, as most of you have told me how much her story has meant to you...her story seems to hit everyone a little different...hits you right where you are at. To me...that is truly a miracle. It still amazes me that God can use our circumstances to help others with theirs. Anyway...I just wanted to touch base with all of you. This Christmas season I think is going to be hard on me (and Jon for that matter)...like I've said before...all the first are hard. I think I'm going to be a little bit weepier...and I know I already feel like a Scrooge. I don't know what's up with me but I just can not get into the Christmas spirit! Isn't that awful! I think so. Part of it I think is losing Emmalee...the other is the miracles growing inside of me...they are making me awfully exhausted! Well I hope you all are enjoying the Christmas Season...it is getting really beautiful here in MN with all the snow we've been getting. And I'm very thankful for Christmas and for being able to celebrate Christ's birth. For with out that...I wouldn't have the assurance that my little girl is in Heaven and that someday I will get to see her again. Thank you Lord for sending your Son down to Earth for us...to die for our sins and be able to live with you in paradise someday...I thank you that you know my hurt, after all, your Son had to die as well...and I thank you for being there for us...all of us...ready to meet us where we are at. Have a wonderful Christmas everyone! Oh...and we took a tree out to Emmalee's grave...we decorated it the other night...I think it looks cute! We thought it'd be kind of a fun tradition for our family to decorate a tree for Emmalee every year. I also bought some solar powered lights...they hadn't charged yet so I think we are going to go out tomorrow night to see if they actually work...if not....they are going back to Target...those things were expensive! Well...I hope you like Emmalee's First Christmas Tree!

Love~
Ali