Monday was 11 Months in Heaven

Well, we've passed the 11 months in Heaven mark for Emmalee. Still can't believe it. Here we go...heading for the one year mark! Wow. Please be in prayer for us as we head in this direction. Jon and I were talking the other night about how last year at this time we were preparing for our new little bundle of joy to arrive. How he was so antsy for him or her to get here. I can't believe that was only a year ago...I feel like so much has happened to us in a year that it can't seem possible for it only to be a year...and yet...it's been a year? How can that be...time has gone so fast. Two totally different reactions and yet I feel them both. Well...here we go.

11 Months

Raise your hand if you can believe Emmalee would have been 11 months old already!! These months keep ticking by! Jon called me on Tuesday (the day Emmalee would have been 11 months) and asked me if I could believe it had been 11 months already...and my answer...no! I can't believe it. Which I told him was probably a good thing. That means time is still going by and we are healing...at least the days don't drag on...at least time is moving...getting us one day closer to reuniting with her and Owen and Cooper. Some day my arms will be full! Until then they still ache. After the boys died I missed her so badly! I just wanted Emmalee to hold. I don't really know why that is...after all...shouldn't I be missing them. But yet again...I had just seen them and had just said good-bye to them. At that time it had been 10 months since I had seen Emmalee and I just wanted her. Also, I think we had more time to bond with her...she was with us for 18,445 minutes more than the boys were. Anyway...all that to say that I miss her...we miss her. Life will never be the same for us. It will be richer because she has graced our lives but there will always be a piece missing...a piece we will forever miss and grieve for. But glory be to God that He has been a constant strength and comfort to us. He may have let us go down this road but He has not left us to go it alone. He is writing a story here and I'm glad to be one of the characters. He is shaping us to be the people He wants us to be. Stronger people with more love to give to others. Hopefully He sees fit for us to become parents again. We would like that. Well I hope you all have a blessed day. Thanks for being with us these past 11 months. And Happy 11 Month Birthday Emmalee. Have some cake for me!