Afternoon at Valley Grove

Well I do have to say that this week was pretty uneventful. What should have been a really hard day on Tuesday, was not so bad. I was at work all day and I was really busy so that helps. On Sunday we went out to Valley Grove (where Emma is buried) because they were having a Country Social! It was so fun! They had both churches open and they had horse and wagon rides for the kids (and adults!)...there were some musical groups there putting on shows and they had refreshments...I think they do this every year so we're excited to go back next year! Valley Grove obviously holds a special place in our lives now so it's fun to go to the events that they have there...I guess they have a wonderful Christmas Eve service out there so I think we are going to try to go to that as well. While we were out there we had lots of people commenting on Emma's rock...so it was nice to hear that plus be able to make a connection to other people. I think it was the first time for some of our nieces and nephews to see the rock with her picture on it...it's carved in granite, as I said before, and so therefore it's shinny and smooth...they just kept rubbing it...I told Jon that poor Emmalee is going to get rubbed right off of there or rubbed even more shinny! But that's okay....I'm glad they like to touch her face and make a connection with her. Our niece Julia was so cute...when asked who was in the picture she got a real squeal to her voice and said, "that's Emmwawee!" (I tried to type it how it sounded...it was too cute...too bad you all couldn't have heard it). Well then my mother-in-law said, "well you heard what she said when we came out here to place Emma's rock, didn't you?" And of course my answer was no because had I heard this before it would have already been on this blog! Well that day they walked out there and Julia goes right up to the place where Emmalee was buried and said "Nana, where's Emmalee. I saw Jon put her in the ground right there...where is she?" I guess they must have told her that we were going out to see Emmalee and she wanted to see her. It amazes me what kids do or think or say! Too cute. Well I guess that's all I have for you now...sorry it's Thursday before I get this posted...yesterday just seemed to get away from me! I'll talk to you all later!

One thing I've learned...

If there is one thing that I've learned this year, it's that you can't control what happens in life...case and point...it rained...all day...on Sunday! If you remember...Sunday was the day we had our big party for all the doctors, nurses, and everyone else that was involved with helping us with Emmalee. Oh well...I prayed for no rain...but there must have been a reason that it needed to rain that day (do you remember the movie Bruce Almighty? God can't answer all our prayers with a yes...He's ultimately in control and know what's best for everyone)...and we survived. We just all moved into the house...my small house...and still had a great time. It was so good to see everyone again! Emma's last day was so rushed and not everyone was working that day that had taken care of her so we didn't get to say good-bye and thank everyone. Also...that little girl of ours helped us create a bond with all of these people and we don't want that bond to break...we enjoyed getting to know everyone...even during the circumstance that we were in. Pretty special...anyway...we had fun...lots of food...lots of stories and remembering...and lots of making plans for future get togethers! Thank you to everyone who came...it was good to see you all! And thank you to all our family who helped us put on this party...who came to help clean my house...and who helped get the food ready and helped put it out that day...and let me and Jon be able to socialize! Other than not too much is new with us. Jon did get the backyard done...it's so cool...and beautiful. I'll post a picture so you all can see it! But I think I'm going to close for now....today was five months since Emmalee's heart surgery...one of the worst days of my life...I was struck that day with such worry...that worry is so unbearable...I pray that I never feel that kind of worry again...and I was just telling my sis-in-law, Annette, about the long walk...down the white hall...how awful it was and how I wanted to request a wheelchair 'cause I literally felt like I could just pass out at any minute...and she was surprised that they didn't offer one...especially since I had just had a baby. But the strength was there for me and I got through it...we got through it. And we have new relationships with people that we would have never had...for that...we are very grateful to God. Well have a great week all...here's a few pictures for you!

Isn't my backyard so pretty! My husband is so talented!

More backyard pictures....the paver patio has a 3 foot fire pit in the middle of it! Fun huh!

I forgot to put this image on with her other pictures of her stone...this is just a little sentiment on the front of her stone...just a statement we believe to be true. There is also a heart on the front corner that says...Loved dearly by her mommy and daddy, Ali and Jon.

Okay...can I tell you how weird it is to see your own name on a funeral plot map!?!

5 Months

5 months ago...that seems so hard to believe. At 3:16 p.m. today I would have had a five month old. And I tell you...today...with the kind of cramps I am having...I remember labor very well...ha! Hard to believe that that much time has past...seems so long ago and yet like it was yesterday...and yet at the same time by God's grace it actually has been bearable and we have made it through. And I have to say...when anyone ever said "Not a day goes by that I don't think of so and so..." I found that statement hard to believe. Not a day? But let me tell you folks...I don't think that way anymore....I can tell you with certainty that not a day goes by without thinking of Emma...and lately...not a day goes by where I don't get just a few tears in my eyes...they might not fall...'cause I try to be real strong...but they do sting...and my heart gets real heavy...5 months...can it really be?!? I was watching the news last week and they were doing a follow-up story on a little girl in the cities who actually has hypoplastic left heart syndrome...I don't know her whole story...my ears just perked up as soon as I heard she has a heart condition (I tell you...I'm much more in tune to heart stuff anymore)...anyway...she is 5 and ended up needing a heart transplant...she did get it...and now it's a year long wait to make sure her body doesn't reject it...and if it doesn't...then she has about 20 years until she needs another one. Now...I think this should be good news...but I couldn't help but think...that poor little girl...she's going to be okay for a little while here...but then she's going to have to worry again that her heart will give out on her and will there be another heart for her when she needs it! This got me thinking in a whole new way of Emmalee's condition. I truly believe that God knew how bad Emmalee's heart was and He knew she'd have a long road ahead of her and a hard life....He loved her so much that He couldn't let her stay here with us. He also didn't let her die in the hands of the surgeon...He wouldn't have wanted Dr. Burkhart to blame himself for Emmalee's death...and he wouldn't want us questioning whether they had done everything they could have done for her in surgery....He let me and Jon be in there for her final test to see her blood clots...and He let Emmalee's body be the bad guy and take her from us...no one to blame...rejoicing that she was finally healed...rejoicing that she will never be a scared little girl wondering if her heart was going to give out...or being a 25 year old wondering the same thing. Emmalee is in a better place...she has been for almost 5 months...she is missed so dearly...it hurts...but she doesn't and that's all that matters. We got her rock completely done...it's so pretty...but now it's almost hard to see her picture there...when it was just her name it didn't really click that she was buried there...now with her cute little face right there in front of you...it's hard...but it's so pretty and so suiting for our little Emmalee. Enjoy the pictures!

Sunday Night

Well your prayers must have worked! I had just one little serving of taco meat left over after all had been served at the Ronald McDonald House dinner! I'm talking like only one taco could have been filled with the amount I had left! Plenty of lettuce, cheese, shells, and chips left though! Four bags of lettuce to be exact! But it was a really fun night. It was good to be back and a little hard. You kinda miss being in that environment...because if you were there that would mean you would have a child to be there for. And yet I don't envy the couples and families we met there. We met one family from WI that had been there previously...only to have to come back as soon as they got to their home because their sons cancer had come back...they've been there since March (Jon and I thought they looked familiar) and they hope to be home right after Thanksgiving...the kid said that was okay with him just as long as they were home for Christmas and his birthday. What a good attitude! And then there was the couple from Menominee, WI who had a baby born prematurely....he told us that he had built up time off from working overtime this last winter snow plowing (he works for the highway dept.) and that even though that time was running out all of his co-workers were donating their days off so that he could stay down there with his wife and baby. Jon and I were talking...stories like that really should be on the news...the goodness of people in today's world...you don't hear stories like that very often. There were a lot of couples there who had babies in the NICU...it was fun talking to them and about their experiences...and we all agreed...all the nurses up there are wonderful! So in all it was a very successful night and a very rewarding and fun night! And we got to deposit a bunch of pop tops in their big house box...that was fun for the kids! We can't wait to do it again! Other than that...we've been busy getting our house and our yard ready for the party we are having at our house on September 14th...we invited all of Emmalee's doctors and nurses...we just wanted to give them a proper thank you and figured this would be a fun way to do it...we just hope we have a good turnout...we'd love to see them all again! Sometime I'll have to post pictures on here of our transformation! It's looking so nice...Jon is really doing a good job! And...this weekend is Defeat of Jesse James weekend...so it will be full of fun activities! It's always a good time around Northfield. Also...one more note...Emma's headstone should be completely finished this weekend when the granite piece with her picture gets placed! Exciting! Well...hope you all have a great week...we'll chat with you later!