Videos

Here are two videos that were played at Emmalee's funeral. I hope you enjoy them. We will get clips from the service as well up here soon.



Emmalee Ann Pearl Feldman from Sam Watts on Vimeo.


Praise You In This Storm from Sam Watts on Vimeo.

Emma's Service

Ahhh...I feel like I can finally breathe after the last few days of trying to get everything organized! Things went really good though. She had a beautiful service. The day started off by having snow on the ground and it was really windy. But I told Jon that it had to be windy because God was just blowing all the clouds out of the sky for us so that we'd have a beautiful sunset for Emma's burial. And it turned out that way! Anyway...back to the beginning of the day. We got to the church around 1:30 and finished setting up for the funeral. I can't say enough about Parker Kohl Funeral home...they are awesome! They took such good care of us. We were even allowed to come to the funeral home the day before and dress our little Emma. We weren't sure we'd be able to do it (emotionally I mean) but I wanted to try, since I never got to dress my little girl. And you know what...it was surprisingly easy. It felt really good to be able to do that. And she looked so pretty in the purple and white dress Jon and I picked out for her. The outfit even had little bloomers and booties to go with it! So cute! John and Steve Kohl are so good to work with and the little extras they did for us were amazing! They had her at the front of the church when we got there...the little white casket was so pretty. I told Jon though that it's not even right that they make them that small. No one should have to bury a body that small. The flowers you all sent were so beautiful! Thank you all for those! My house smells wonderful today! The visitation was from 2:30 - 4:30 and there was a constant stream of people to see our little Emma. It made us feel so loved to see all of you there. Although I told Jon that I never realized that funerals are kinda like weddings...everyone is here to see you and yet you don't get enough time to visit with everyone the way you'd like to! Thank you all for coming...we appreciate each one of you and wish we would have gotten to spend more time with you! Emma even had two of her favorite nurses show up...that meant a lot to us! We heard it over and over...you'll never know how many people your little girl touched in her short life. We definitely know that to be true! The service was just perfect. We started out by having Brian Ferrell sing "With Hope" by Steven Curtis Chapman. Just a perfect way to start out the service...the song says that we can cry with hope, we can say good-bye with hope, because we know our good-bye is not the end...so true. We know we'll see Emma again someday in Heaven...our pastor said it this way to us...doesn't Heaven seem a little more real now that you have this little one up there? Can't wait to see her again! And then we had some scripture reading, Jon said a few words (I don't know how he did it...I would have never been able to do that!), prayer, and Sam put together an awesome video of Emma...he said he's going to try to post it on our blog and also some clips from the service. We also played the song "Praise You In This Storm" by Casting Crowns because Jon and I feel like that is our theme song right now...and Sam took the video of the sunset that Jon and I had taken the night Emmalee passed away and put the words to the song on there...very moving (I'm just glad I watched both videos before the service...I would have been a lot more emotional if I hadn't...he did such a good job). And then our Pastor gave a great message...it really was moving! To close out the service all of our nieces and nephews (all 8 of them!) sang Emma's favorite song, "Jesus Loves Me". I sang this song to our girl because I think the words are so appropriate..."little ones to him belong. They are weak but He is strong! Yes, Jesus loves me!..." The kids were so cute and they did such a good job. Then we took the processional down to Valley Grove Cemetery (which is only about 3 miles from our house) and we laid our little girl to rest. It was a beautiful setting and the sun was shining. It was a little windy and cold but beautiful! They actually laid Emmalee in the ground while we were all there and then Jon started to put the dirt back on top. My dad later came and helped him. I think that was probably the most emotional time of the day. It doesn't seem possible that I could be burying my little girl! But it was also neat that her dad was doing it and it was so much more personal that way! So that was the day in a nutshell for anyone who wasn't there. Again, thank you to all who were there to help us say good-bye to our sweetheart. She sure did look pretty, didn't she?! We'll be sure to try and get that video on here. And like I had said before...I'll share some of the professional pictures with you all as well. It might be a few days before I get those on here...but I'll get them on here soon! Oh...and some of you were wondering about a memorial fund...we did decide to set one up for Emmalee at the First National Bank in Northfield, MN. We aren't sure what exactly we are going to do (we have few ideas) but we can let you know when something is for sure. Thanks you all again and thank you for continuing to keep us in your prayers while we go through the grieving process! But we know God is good all the time and He will continue to hold us close to Him!
Love
Jon, Ali and Emmalee

The events of yesterday and today

Hi all. I said I'd write more about yesterday and so here the book goes. I think it was the hardest waking up yesterday knowing that we may need to make a decision and knowing we really didn't want to but also wanting to do the best thing for our sweet girl. We got up to the hospital at 7 a.m. again to spend some time with Emma. This time though they had decided not to take her off sedation since they were going to be doing an echo on her and they wanted to keep her comfortable. It was still a sweet time with her...talking to her and telling her that we loved her so much. You could tell that she could hear us because every once in a while her eyes would blink or move even though they were still closed. The neurologist came in to talk with us about the results of the EEG. They were unchanged from the day before...there looked to be some brain damage, although they couldn't be absolutely certain that it wouldn't change and that over time it could heal. But they were pretty sure that she would have damage that would affect her the rest of her life. Well, we could deal with that...but then they came in to do the echo on her heart. Doctor after doctor came in to study the screen. Jon and I have seen enough of these tests done that even we knew what we were looking at. You could tell that her left side wasn't working at all and then you could just see all these blood clots swirling around in her heart (in her right chamber). It was almost painful to watch. After they were done her pediatric cardiologist came over to talk to us. Dr. Allison (who we like so much and trust so much) told us that there wasn't a miraculous improvement but in fact her heart had gotten much worse. They had done all that they could do. We had prayed the night before that we would have a definite answer as to what we needed to do because we knew this would be the hardest decision that we'd ever have to or want to make and we needed to know that we would never have any regrets as to what decision we made. So...we got our answer. God answered our prayer even though it wasn't what we were hoping for it was still an answer. Emmalee was being called Home. We talked to them about what was going to happen next. We really wanted to hold our baby girl before they took her off the ECMO machine, which they don't like to do since there are so many tubes and wires and the risk of them coming out is quite high. They also don't like the idea of just turning off the machine...usually they take out the caniuls that go into her main arteries which means that she would be dying on the table and we wouldn't be able to be with her since they treat that like major surgery. Well after talking to one of our nurses she told us that she was going to do all she could to let us hold Emmalee as she passed away. So we gathered all the family and she gathered some nurses and then they placed Emmalee into my arms first. What a great feeling to be able to hold your daughter! We just sat there and rocked for a bit and talked and just looked at her pretty little face. Then they help transfer her over to Jon's arms. It's amazing to see your husband be able to hold his little girl for only the second time in his life. We read to her the book we had picked out for her (which we think is her favorite!)...it's called "God Gave Us You"...it was such a special time for us and our whole family. After that we let everyone come around and give her kisses and say good-bye. Our doctor came in to talk to us and make sure we knew what was happening and what was decided. We just had this peace about letting her go. Even though we wanted to hold her more we both looked at each other and said it was time. We also didn't want to take too long because we knew those blood clots were there and we didn't want one of them to break off and go somewhere and cause her any pain...I don't know if I had mentioned it before but her little arms/hands and feet were starting to get a little purple and they said that those were probable bits of clots that had broken off and gone there...we knew we could see those and just think of all the places that they probably had gone and we couldn't see. So while Jon was holding his baby girl they turned off the machine and she was gone...gone up to her Heavenly Father who was waiting for her with open arms. I guess I didn't know that it would happen so fast but Jon felt her go right when they turned off the machine and she did squeeze both of our fingers as almost to say good-bye to us. It brings us comfort that it did happen so fast...we know that it was the machine doing all the work for her...her little heart couldn't do the work it needed to to keep her body alive. After that they took her from us and we went to the waiting room to breath a little and wait for them to sew her up and clean her up. Then they came and got us and when we walked into the room the nurse was holding her all wrapped up and she placed her in my arms. No tubes...no wires...just Emma. We sat and rocked and kissed her little face. We cried. And we thanked God for the 13 days that we got to spend with her. It was so nice to finally see her the way she was suppose to be. After Jon and I both held her we let everyone else come back in and hold her for the first and last time. It was so special. I just wish they could have held her more...she just fit so right in your arms...perfect. But we needed to let go and say good-bye...when Jon and I were done we left her in the arms of one of her favorite nurses, Lori, who then held her for us until they came to pick her up and take her to the mortuary. It was so comforting knowing that she would be held until then. We then went and packed our stuff up at the Ronald McDonald House and headed home. It was a tough day...long and oh to short all at the same time. Many tears were shed and yet we were comforted by the fact that she is in Heaven and she had her perfect body and perfect heart! And she gets to meet Jesus before we do! When we got home we went up to Valley Grove Church and decided that that's where she'll be buried. We also watched the sun go down and just thanked God for the time we got to have with Emma. Today we went and made some of her funeral arrangements at Kohl's Funeral Home in Faribault. One of my client's husband owns it and we knew he'd do a great job at taking care of our baby girl. After that we went down to Bloom and ordered her flowers...after we told them what we wanted and who it was for they told us that they couldn't let us pay for it...that they would just take care of it. I couldn't believe it! What a blessing! We then picked out her outfit and tried not to cry as I looked at all the pretty clothes that I won't be able to dress her in. I think it hit me harder today...it's not going to be easy but God will get us through. Today was the first day that I didn't get to see my baby...that was hard...I almost wanted to ask to go downstairs (or wherever she was) just to see her. I think that's the hardest part...not seeing her. She was so pretty...so cute...so perfect. And then I think about this summer and how many things we had planned already and how it's going to be different now...but we can already see how much God has blessed us. He blessed us by giving us Emmalee for 13 days...He's blessed us by giving us each other...He's blessed us by knowing that Emmalee blessed so many people in her short life, more people than we will ever know about (until we get to Heaven). We have heard time after time in this short period how lives have been touched just by our little girl. This blog alone has touched us by all the messages you guys have left for us. We said it throughout Emmalee's journey...God is good all the time and we cling to that and know it's true. We will be able to get through this with His help and we are so grateful that He gave us so many wonderful memories of Emma that we will always hold close in our hearts. Emmalee is healed now and we miss her but we know we have the assurance that we will be able to see her again and hold her again because we have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and He promises us that we will live in Heaven with Him someday if we confess our sins and give our lives over to Him. I am so thankful for that and I am thankful for all of you who helped us pray for our little sweet girl. Thank you for all you did for us and for all the kind words you had for us. You will never know how much they truly meant. Emmalee's service will be at Trinity Evangelical Free Church in Lakeville, MN (10685 210th Street West). We will have a visitation from 2:30 - 4:30 p.m. and a service at 5 p.m. There will be refreshments from 2:30 - 4:30. And then we will have her internment at 7 p.m. down at Valley Grove Cemetery (right outside of Nerstrand). Please continue to pray for us as we face these next few days, weeks, and months ahead of us. We know they won't be easy but God is good all the time and we will get through this. This won't be the last blog update...we'll keep you up to date on what's going on and how we are doing. Thanks so much for caring about us! For those of you who would like to attend Emma's service but can't we are going to try to post clips of her service on here so be looking for that. Also they had a professional photographer come and take some pictures of Emma her last day and so when we get those we'll share some with you all. Again thank you all so much. Emma is Home and we rejoice in her healing. We love you all!
Love
Jon, Ali and Emmalee

P.S. Make sure you all hug and kiss your kids tonight! And enjoy every minute with them!

Emmalee Went Home

Hi all I just thought I'd write to you to tell you all that our little Emmalee went home today. After having her echo done today we realized God was making it very clear to us that she was suppose to come home to Him today. They had told us that unless we had seen a miraculous change in her heart they had pretty much done all they could do for her and we needed to make a decision. Well her heart had gotten much worse and there were many more blood clots in her ventricles. Jon and I sat there and watched them do the echo on her and we could see all the clots and we knew right then that we need to say good-bye to our sweetheart. So we gathered the family and they all came and said their good-byes. They then let us hold our sweet girl before they turned off her machine. It was amazing...one moment she was sleeping content in her Daddy's arms and then next she was sleeping peacefully in her Heavenly Father's arms. I'll write more later on the events of today and the plans we have for her service...her service will be Saturday and we'll let you know the time later. Just wanted you all to know that Emmalee experienced her miracle today. She is healed completely and running around Heaven! Thank you all for your love, prayers, and support.
Love
Jon, Ali and Emmalee

Tuesday Update

Well tomorrow will be decision day. We got to the hospital around 7 a.m. this morning to be with Emmalee as she came out of sedation. She had her eyes wide open ready to see us! It's such a blessing to see our little girls eyes...you can just get lost in them and somehow they bring you such comfort. We were able to meet with Dr. Oliver today and just asked him his honest opinion on what he thought we should do or what direction he would go or just to see if he saw any hope to keep going on. He told us things we wanted to hear and things we didn't. He told us he's see miracles happen and that you can never give up hope. He told us that we needed to make sure we both agreed on the time if we did decide to let her go Home. So we've talked and we are going to run an echo tomorrow on her heart and see if there is any improvement...he thought that would be best. If we didn't see any then he was certain that they had done everything they could and that he would be at peace with the decision to let her go. She is having an EEG done on her head right now, just to check again. Our God is Mighty and can to mighty works. He's the only one who can perform a miracle in her body. But we are also trying to prepare ourselves in case He askes us to make that decision. Actually we are letting Him do that by way of the results from the echo tomorrow. Either way we will accept His will for our lives and for little Emma's life. But we are still praying for that miracle in our little girl's body and we ask you to stand there with us too. Nothing is impossible for God!
Love
Jon, Ali, and Emmalee

Praying for a Miracle

Well little miss Emmalee is throwing the doctors for some loops. We are asking you all to be praying for a miracle for our little girl. This morning she was doing good. Had stayed stable throughout the night. They wanted to run some tests on her this afternoon and clean up her chest again and then do an echo so we took off for a bit for them to do that. Well we got back and they gave us the result. The head EEG showed them signs that there may be head trauma. There was brain function but some of it seem sporadic and not quite what they wanted. Then with her heart the ECHO showed that she has a clot in her right ventricle that could still dissolve and break up but they don't know exactly where it would go. She also has a valve that is leaking and they don't like the looks of that. The cleaning of her chest went good and they are still taking some of the fluid off her body. So right now we are going to just see how the next two days go and let God be in control. The doctors had talked to us about whether or not it's time to let go but they also said that we could give it a couple of days here and see what she does and so that's the road we are going down. Just pray for our little girl that when they go back in and see her that they will be shocked and amazed as to her progress. We can't say it enough...God is good all the time. He knows His plans for our little girl and we have to be okay with whatever they are. We are just praying that He heals her completely and that her brain will function normally and that her heart would be healed. Thank you all for lifting her up in prayers tonight.
Love
Jon, Ali, and our little fighter Emmalee

Pictures of our Amazing Little Girl!

Well today was a good day. Emma remained stable today and we aren't anticipating any problems going into tonight. We got up to the hospital at 7 a.m. because they were going to take her off sedation so they want us there to stimulate her. She really starts to move and open her eyes when we talk to her. And they wanted the doctors to be able to see that. They seemed happy with her progress and her head ultrasound didn't show any changes. She's completely warmed back up and I need to clarify what I wrote before. When they told us that they cooled her down we were lead to believe that it was 35 degrees Fahrenheit...well it is Celsius! AHHH...I feel so much better about that...sorry to confuse all of you...I was so confused my self. But yesterday when I asked about warming her they said that they had started and she was at 36 degrees...and I said...it's going to take her a long time to get back to normal temperature then...and the nurse said that they only had to get her to 37 degrees...I then said...oh...she must have been cooled to 35 C...and she said...yeah...what did you think?!? I was just so happy to know that she wasn't that cold! But we had all understood it to be 35 degrees Fahrenheit but it was a long night...I think Dr. Burkhardt was tired when he told us and we were very tired when we were listening to him! But she's all warmed up now and seeming to do well with that! We need to continue to pray for her right leg as her circulation hasn't fully returned there...she has a couple purple toes and we need to see them get pink. When they did take her off sedation she opened her eyes and looked at us...blinked...squeezed Jon's hand...all very good movements. And she flinched when the light above her got turned on! She also moved her toes when Grandpa Tim tickled her feet...I told her she'd better get use to that! Grandma Annie spent the weekend singing to her...which was so nice 'cause it gave us a chance to sit in the waiting room and relax, knowing someone else was in there with her. Her doctor for the weekend came in and checked on her this morning...he told Jon that he was the one who "landed" her on Thursday night (that means he was in her room to help her get settled in) and he would have never guessed that she'd be doing this well today from how she was on Thursday! We'll take that as positive news! But she is still very sick and we really need to be careful of germs and infection...and she still needs to take it easy and let the ECMO machine do the work for her. He's even thinking that she may still be on it until maybe Thursday and maybe close her up on Friday...but that's not a for sure thing...we need to take it one day at a time! But God is good all the time and He's helping her get through it...and us! Now it's my turn for my stomach to feel tense...I think I'm starting to relax a bit and I think the effects of having a baby 10 days ago is starting to kick in. So I'm going to just take it easy...sleep a bit...try to remain hydrated...and not get sick! Well I think that's all I have for now. So here are the pictures promised of our sweet girl. She's starting to look a little less puffy but I think she looks like a 3 month old...not the 6 lb baby I gave birth to! They are slowly starting to take some of the fluid off of her but even that is a long process! And in case and of you are wondering, we did take pictures of her open chest for her to see someday but we've decided not to post them. They are a little to personal for us to post them on here. They might be a little disturbing for you to see...I've only looked a couple of times under her blanket and I need to leave the room pretty quickly after seeing it. Okay...I'll close for now!
Love~
Jon, Ali, and Emmalee

P.S. I know Carrie had asked in one of her comments if we needed anything or anything done for us...right now I think we are sitting good because we have had a lot of family and friends around this last week but in the next coming weeks we may need something and we'll be sure to ask! Thanks for letting us do that! You don't know how much it means to us to know there are so many people who care for us and our little girl! Keep all the prayers coming and kind words...we are also able to get mail here at the Ronald McDonald House...the address is 850 Second Street SW, Rochester, MN 55902 ...you just have to put it attention to our name and they'll get it to us (Room 217)...I can't believe how amazing this place is and how many people donated to the families here...we have already gotten a quilt for Emma, a pillow case, and a beanie baby...and 2 boxes of Girl Scout cookies and toothpaste! Okay...enough for now...here's the pictures:


This is the ECMO machine...this is what is keeping her going...all her blood goes in and out of this machine and allows her heart and lungs to rest! It's the first thing you see when you walk into her room!

Sweet girl and her monkey!

Our little Emma!

Resting nicely!

Thanks be to God

I know I always start out saying that it's just going to be a quick update and then it turns into a book. Well here's another book for you:) They took Emmalee off sedation around 1:30 p.m. to see what kind of movement she'd have. We were actually quite surprised that they'd do this since her chest is still open but I guess this is what they do. Well when we went in there they had already seen her hands and toes move...and they were controlled movements not jerky ones that would be associated with seizures and brain trauma. Although they say they can't be certain about anything right now they do see these as positive movements and we will take that! When we came in and talked to her she started blinking her eyes and then slowly she did get her right eye open just a slit and watched her daddy as he talked to her! It was so good to see that...God is good! We are just waiting on her results from another head ultrasound but things look to be positive and we feel that she's on the road to recovery! Just keep praying that things keep progressing without any set backs and that she continues to get stronger. They will do another echo on her heart tomorrow to see how it is doing and to kind of get a feel for when she might be ready to get off the ECMO machine, which will still be a few days. We continue to pray that her brain has no signs of injury and thank God for the progress already. We'll keep you updated...and a little fyi...Jon's stomach is feeling better...thank you for praying for him! Thanks to you all!
Love
Jon, Ali & Emmalee

Another day

So baby Emma is doing good this morning. She had a little episode in the night with her blood pressure but now she is stabilizing again. Dr. Burkhardt came and talked with us this morning along with Dr. Durani, who will be taking care of Emma while Burkhardt is gone this next week. He was still positive but yet he said it's still an up and down battle and we still need to give her time. He told us again about the ultrasound of her head...that they didn't see anything but it isn't conclusive and that they'll just give her more time and still keep running more tests in the next few days. The bigger news of the day is that they are starting to warm her up. Very slowly but warming her none the less. Around 2 p.m. they are going to start taking her off sedation and see what kind of movements she does. They don't necessarily think they are going to see anything and if they do it's still too early to tell what they all mean but it would be good to see a little something. So please pray for Emma during that time. Then they will put her back under. They said it's a good thing to take her off sedation once a day and then put her back under. So not too much new with her...just another day of waiting. Thanks to all for your kind words and prayers...can't say it enough! We will let you know if anything new happens!
Love~
Jon, Ali, and Emmalee

P.S. It was the Dalai Lama here the other day for anyone curious...man what a thing that was to see with the secret service all around...kinda interesting to see all that action for one man and a little sad to see how the people seemed to worship him and bow to him.
P.P.S In case you are wondering why I go back and forth calling her Emma and Emmalee it's because before Emma was born I wanted her name to be Emmalee 'cause I liked it knowing we would call her Emma...Jon just wanted it to be Emma but he let me have my way. Well now he calls her Emmalee most of the time and I call her Emma...I just think it's kind of funny how it all worked out!

Going strong

Well it's the end of the day and we are back at our room at the Ronald McDonald House (which is such a blessing that we got a room here) and I thought I'd better put a quick update on here for you all. Today was not the roller coaster of a day yesterday was. This morning we got up to see her we went into her room and started talking to her. And then her eyes opened...just little slits but open none the less. We were very surprised to see this and I asked the nurses if she was suppose to be opening her eyes and they all seemed surprised as well and came over to look at her. Well she didn't keep them open very long but it was enough to let us know that she was still here with us, fighting, and giving us hope that she was going to be okay. She remained very quiet today, resting really well. She was up and down all night I guess and today she remained very level. They told us that every hour that is good means we are just that much closer to recovery. Dr. Burkhardt came by this morning to talk to us and he seemed a whole lot more positive...not so sad like he was last night. He told us that last night he had to do CPR on her for a hour and that he'd done CPR on kids for over 2-3 hours and they have done fine...it just means her little heart is a little more bruise and swollen and will need a few more days to heal. He also told us that they'd run a ultrasound on her brain today to see if the clot went up there and did any damage and to see if she had any bleeding on the brain. It took a while for the results to come back but when they did he didn't see anything that concerns him! Praise God! They will run more ultrasounds on her in the next few days but this initial one looks good! Ahhh....one more load taken off our chests! And he also said that when he was in there she was moving her arms and legs...he watched her for a bit to make sure they weren't seizure movements but he said they were just nice steady movements and that was a good sign to him. We didn't realize that these things would or could happen...as far as we understood she'd be so knocked out that she'd just be laying there limp. So after all that Jon and I came back to the Ronald McDonald House to just take a shower and try to take a nap. We were able to a little bit but we also felt the need to be back up there with Emma. Jon's brother Matt and his wife Chris also took us out to eat tonight which was so nice to get a good meal (steak and baked potato!) and start feeling a little better...sometimes you forget you have to take care of yourself! Then we went back to say good night to Emma and while we talked to her you could tell her eyes were moving....kind of blinking as we talked. She knows we are there and she's fighting to overcome all of this and get better. God is with her and we find comfort in that. She still has a long road ahead of her and she's not out of the woods yet but atleast today we have more hope! Know that we count it all blessing for all the prayers you all have said for us. Emma is in good hands (God's hands) and you all are helping her along the way...she can't wait to meet you all! Good night!
Love
Jon, Ali, & Emmalee

Still critical

Well it's been a long night...mostly sleepless but I did find a little bit of rest...please pray for Jon as he didn't sleep much at all. We take turns for each other...last night he had to be the strong one for me and this morning it's my turn. It's amazing how God gives each of us the strength when we need it. Emmalee is still in very critical condition. We haven't gotten any word this morning yet on her...they made us stay in the hospital waiting room last night just in case so I guess that they didn't have to come and get us gives us some hope. But the next 72 hours are critical and we'll just see. But as I was laying in bed I had just a blank mind (I don't think I've had that this whole time) and I just heard this voice saying, "Ali, we are going to do a mighty work in there. You just have to sit back and watch it happen." I know that was the Holy Spirit talking to me...there is no other explanation in my mind as to where that could have come from. We got to see little Emma last night and early early this morning. She looks so tough...very puffy and hooked to so many machines. They try to prepare you but really can anyone be prepared to see their little girl looking like that. But we keep telling ourselves...she had to go through this surgery to even have a chance at life...it wasn't an elective surgery she needed it. And back at 25 weeks when we found out about her heart problem we felt a peace about it (a peace that surpasses all understanding) and we know God has been with her this whole time. He has plans for her. He has us wrapped in love and has her wrapped in love. He loves us...He doesn't like to see us suffer like this but this is life and He will help us get through it. God is good all the time! Thanks for your prayers and kind words for us...please keep them coming. I'll write more when I know more.
Love
Jon, Ali and sweet baby Emma

Emma NEEDS your PRAYERS

Well it's about 9:08 p.m. and it's been a roller coaster of a day to say the least. Her heart surgery went good...he did the repairs and felt very good about them...he said he even did them in a very timely manner. But then they tried to take her off the bypass and she was having a little trouble so they decided it would be best to stick her on an echmo (I don't know if that's how you spell it) machine which basically gives her heart and lungs a break to catch up while this machine does the work for them. Okay...we can handle that. Then before they were ready to bring her up to her room she developed a blood clot so he scrubbed back in to remove that. Unfortunately he can't be sure he got it all and since it was in her aortic valve the clot would have gone to her brain if he didn't get it all. So now they have her head on ice...they cooled her body down to 35 degrees and they are going to wait until tomorrow to see if she wakes up and they'll also do a ultrasound on her brain. It's pretty serious and it's hard not to feel anxious for her but we keep reminding ourselves that God is in control...He knew the plans He had for her and we need to trust Him. Please be praying for our little dolly...she needs it!
Love
Jon, Ali, and little baby Emmalee

She's in...

We got up to the hospital today around 6:15 a.m. to spend some time with Emma before she went into surgery. They ended up coming and getting her around 8 a.m. so we took that long walk with her. It was so hard letting her go but we know she is in good hands so we have to find our comfort in that. And we know she is a very well prayed over little girl...it's amazing to know how many people already care about her! Thank you all! As we said our good-bye's to her she opened her eyes to look at us as to say...mom and dad I'm going to be just fine...and I'll see you in a little bit! That was so reasurring...God is in control and He's holding our baby girl now! Well we'll keep you posted!
Love
Jon, Ali, and Emmalee

Wednesday Update

Hi all! Well this will just be quick but I thought I'd better get something on here for all of you. Emma is doing good today. Resting really well. When we got up to the hospital today she was actually down getting a tube put in her nose so they could take one out of her mouth, which I think she likes! I guess that all went fine...they just threaded it right down. She's doing so good in fact that they actually had to come up and get some medicine for her 'cause she was getting fiesty with them! Little stinker! We also got a tour of where she'll be after her surgery in the cardiac unit. I won't sugar coat it...it was hard to see. And they told us how she'd have all these other wires and tubes in...they showed us a doll so we'd be able to picture it a little bit. We both just had a sick feeling in our stomach. So we could really use your prayers...Jon and I. These are going to be some tough days...today was really emotional for us and Emma needs your prayers for sure but if you have some extra time could you slip us into your prayers as well. Thanks to all...we just keep reminding ourselves that God promises us that He won't let us go through anything that we can't handle...so we will be able to handle it...but that doesn't mean it won't be hard. God is good though...we know that. Love to all!
~Jon, Ali, & Emma

No new news so here's some pictures!

We had an uneventful day, which was nice! Emma did so well today...she just rested quietly for most of the day. We did get to turn off her lights (for her jaundice) for a while and she woke up then and just looked around and watched us talk to her. That was fun to see. But we didn't want to get her too worked up because she still needs to heal so we tried to keep our excitement of seeing her to a minimum. But it looked like she had very blue eyes, although I know those can change. When we went back up to see her tonight (we go back up usually around 9 or 10 to tuck her in and pray with her) we half expected to see the President of the USA by her bedside because there was an entourage of vehicles outside when we came in with Washington D.C. plates...nice Cadillacs! And I did say hi to one of the guys with ear pieces in. But the President was not there...I guess we must have just missed him! I do have to admit I am kind of curious to know who was there tonight...but we'll probably never know. Anyway, nothing new to report. Hope all is well for all of you....we'll keep you posted if anything new happens...not expecting to have anything to report until Thursday though. Well some of you have asked for more pictures so I've posted some for you...and no...believe it or not I'm not posting all the pictures I take of her...she's already a well photographed little girl! Hope you all enjoy the pics! Thanks again for all the prayers...we can't say it enough. We know we definitely serve an awesome God and we can see Him at work so it's so exciting! Take care!
Love~
Jon, Ali & Emmalee


Jon's a push over and put a few fingers in her mouth so she could suck on them...she's always wanting to but we don't want her to pull out her tubes so we have to watch her closely!

Daddy's little girl!

Here is her incision from her esophagus...it's right under her right arm...doesn't look too bad!

I think he's in love!

Just relaxing under the blue lights!

Just wanted to show you how long her fingers are! Some say she'll be a piano player!

Cute little feet...actually they are pretty big!

Surgery a Success!!

Hey everyone! Well another long day down here but an encouraging one! Surgery was over at 12:50 and we met with Dr. Moyer and he said Emmalee's surgery couldn't have gone any better but we will have to wait for at least 6 days after her heart surgery to see how her esophagus is going to work when she eats. Best case scenario is that she has no problems and all stays down when she eats. Next best is that it works the way it's suppose to but she might have a little trouble figuring out the whole eating thing and might need a feeding tube for a brief stint just to help her get started. There is a worse case and a worse worse case scenario as well but we really don't think she'll have those so I'm not even going to mention them:) I truly believe that she is all fixed and she'll do just fine! Today after surgery she rested real well. She was pretty sleepy and just layed there all day...which is what she needs to do. We don't want her to be real active because we want that esophagus to heal good before the heart surgery on Thursday. But tonight when we went up there she was a little more active...still very comfortable and sedated...but it was good to see her move her little arms and legs. Her incision is actually on her right side, kind of on her back under her arm. Seems weird to think that's where they'd go in but I guess it's the best access to prevent blood loss....which they said that she didn't hardly lose any and that the risk of infection is very low! Yea! Praise God! So...we will just get her through her surgery on Thursday and get her on the mend to bring her home. We thought today's surgery was long but Thursday they said it will probably be an all day affair...the actual heart surgery is about 6 - 8 hours and prep time could be 2 and recovery 2. So...we are going to enjoy these next couple of days. I guess our prayer requests at this time are just healing of the esophagus and that she would gain the strength she needs before Thursdays surgery. Thanks to all who are keeping us in their prayers. Emmalee wouldn't be doing this well if it weren't for all of you! Well we got to try to get some sleep now. We'll keep you posted on anything new and keep the messages coming...we love reading them...so encouraging to us!
Love~ Jon, Ali, & Emmalee

Monday Morning Update

Just a quick note for all you blog checkers! Emmalee did fine through the night and this morning they let me hold her before they took her down for her surgery. So about 9:45 we loaded her into the transport unit and at 9:54 they took her into the OR. Just a few minutes ago they started her surgery so Emmalee and God are now in the surgery room with the doctors. They said it should take about an hour...I don't know if I'll be able to post anything after but this is just a quick update for you all. Thanks for your prayers!
Love
Jon, Ali, and Emmalee

Sunday Updates

Hi All! So sorry we didn't do an update yesterday....the day was full of activity and I was just spent after it. And the hormones are kicking in:) I did get released from the hospital in the morning and we were able to get a room at the Ronald McDonald House (huge answer to prayer!)...so we are trying to get settled in here. Anyway...moving on. We did get the news we wanted yesterday. They took Emma down for her test (they did a contrast dye x-ray) in the morning. It only took 15 minutes and they were done and called us in for the results. Well it looks like her esophagus is only a small distance away from where it should connect so it is longer like they thought! So tomorrow morning (Monday) they are going to go in and connect it all and that surgery will be done. She won't need the pack on the side of her neck and she won't need the feeding tube and she won't need any extra surgeries!!! Praise God! So if you think of her tomorrow you can just be praying that she is comfortable and that the doctors hands will be able to manuver and get everything connected just like it should be! So the next news is that we also met with her heart surgeon, Dr. Burkhardt, and he seemed very positive about her surgery. She is a very good canidate and she has 3 out of 4 things going for her...the size of the aorta was a good size, the heart is pumping good, and there is one more thing and for the life of me I can't remember. The only thing that was her size...she's just a bit small but he said that really didn't matter...she was still a good size baby and would do just fine. So the plan is to do her surgery on Thursday for her heart if all goes well tomorrow (which we know it will...God is in control!). So there are the major updates. Just a few fun things...we both got to hold her today...she was just so calm and relaxed...we hope to go in early in the morning to hold her before her surgery. And then last night I guess she was awake for 2 hours...eyes wide open...too bad it was between 1:30 and 3:30 a.m. and we didn't see it. But then today she did open her eyes for us and looked right at us while we talked to her...so cute! And last night we got to give her a sponge bath...and I gave her her first shampoo! She liked that! She also has developed a little bit of jaundice so she has to go under the lights for a lot of the day...but they put these cute little goggles on her and then let her "sunbathe"! Soooo cute! Well we'll put a few pictures on here for you now...enjoy! Again...can't thank you all enough for thinking of us and caring for us and praying for us! God is good ALL the time!
Love,
Jon, Ali & Emmalee


Getting ready to go for her contrast dye test.



Her nurse Joleen taking her down...so many buttons and tubes for one little girl!


Her little monkey toes!


First bath!


She wants to suck her hands and pull out her tubes so she had to have booties put on her hands.


Just chillin' with her mask on as she gets her lights.


Cute little girl with her hat on (Patty Mueller made her hat for her)!


This is actually an old picture. This is her in the transport unit when she left Methodist and came over to St. Mary's.


One final good bye before she left.


Happy parents!

Prayer Update and Pictures!

Wow! Two updates in one day! But we have had some very positive news tonight that we wanted to share with you all. Our doctor, Dr. Moyer (for those of you who live around this area he's the one who separated the conjoined twins) came in to talk to us about Emma's esophagus problems. He said last night that she had a very short esophagus and so today they were running some more tests. Well when he stuck the suction tube down her he felt like it went a lot farther than last night. So they did another x-ray and it looks to be a lot longer than he first thought. Now he's thinking that they might just be able to connect the esophagus to the stomach in one surgery and then be able to still do the heart surgery in 4-5 days after that! A HUGE answer to prayer! He said he wanted to still run one more x-ray tonight but for some reason they couldn't so they are doing it tomorrow...we think it's because God is still working on her right now and He's not quite done so the test will have to wait 'til tomorrow! So we should know more then but for right now they are thinking they will do her first surgery this weekend...no later than Monday and we will go from there. So all you prayer warriors out there please continue to pray for Emma that this esophagus will be long enough to connect to her stomach and she'll still be able to get her heart repaired in a reasonable time frame! Thanks to all for praying and thinking of us...we hope we are doing a good job of keeping you all informed! And we LOVE hearing from all of you...thank you so much for the kind and uplifting words...they are definitely helping us on this end! And now for some pictures! As you can see she has a lot of tubes coming out of her but they did let me finally hold her tonight...ahhh....such a great time! She's so precious...I can't wait for you all to meet her! God is good (no...awesome) ALL the time! Thanks again to you all...we love you! Jon, Ali & Emmalee

A few more details and a few more prayers needed!

Hi All! Well I thought I'd just update you a little more on all the activities of the last couple days. Yesterday actually did go pretty well. She was very anxious to make her entrance. We came in to be induced around 7:30 a.m. but they didn't start anything until 9:30 a.m. Well about 3 hours later (after being on pitocin for that whole time) they said I was dilated to a 4 and they were going to break my water. Well around 2:40 the contractions were so hard that I thought I was going to have her and they said oh, no that's not too likely but we'll have the doctor check you. Well I was dilated to a 9 and they got their butts in gear saying...call the pediatric docs we gotta get her to delivery. Well the next contraction was even worse and I said I was going to push and they said no! So they got me down to the delivery room and told me still I couldn't push 'cause the other docs weren't there yet. Ha! Emmalee was ready to come out. Well they did let me push the next contraction....and during the contraction after that she was out. Pushed for less than 5 minutes...I thought I was pretty lucky! But she came out screaming! They took her right away. We thought we'd have 15 min to hold her but they needed to start working on her right away. Anyway they got her all hooked up and then they brought her by in the transport unit before they took us to St. Mary's. I can't say it enough...she's so beautiful! Anyways...they got her over there and started doing all the testing. Well they called us that night and told us they found another little bump in the road for Emma. Her esophagus is not connected to her stomach. They tried to put a feeding tube down her throat and then realized it had not gone down and so they ran a few tests and discovered the problem. So...she will first need a surgery to fix that problem and then the heart surgery will probably be next Wednesday or Thursday. I guess the plan of action is to do a surgery tomorrow or Monday to bring the esophagus sack (it's a sack 'cause it doesn't go down to her stomach) to the side of her chest or throat so they can easily empty any fluid that goes down there like saliva...and then they will just insert a feeding tube directly into her stomach. This way they can do the heart surgery pretty quickly after that. If they would have done the esophagus surgery to fix the whole problem then it would be about 14 days before they could do the heart surgery and that's too long to wait. So...she's got a few hurdles to get through but God is faithful and He has big plans for her and we just have to fully rely on Him. Thank you all for your prayers and for checking in on us. We will keep you posted on all the latest developments!

It's a....

GIRL! We have a beautiful baby girl! Her name is Emmalee Ann Pearl Feldman....I know...kind of a long name but I think it fits her! We are going to call her Emma! She weighed in at 6 lb .3 oz and was 19 1/2" long. This is just a quick update...we'll write more later! Here's a couple pictures:

Last Ultrasound Pictures!

Well I think we finally had our last appointment today before the baby comes on Thursday! Everything looked really good on the ultrasound and the doctor seemed pleased with the baby's growth and movements! So...on Thursday morning we will head down to Mayo to start the process of meeting our little one. We have to be down there at 7:30 a.m. and then I guess they are just going to break my water to hopefully bring on the contractions! So you can be praying for me that day! ha! I guess that's all the new news that I know. I posted the couple ultrasound pictures we got today for those of you who are interested. They are both of the face...looks to be the cutest face I've ever seen! So we'll try to get all the infomation on here as soon as we have the baby...until then...


Here's the first picture...the baby again is laying this way--> You can see the eyes, nose, lips, chubby cheeks! Too cute!



And here's the second picture....baby is laying this way--> almost the same as the picture above...it's got it's little hand right under his/her chin.

A Baby for sure next week!

Hi everyone! Sorry it's been a couple of days since our last appointment...it's been kinda busy around here. Anyways...our appointment on Wednesday went fine. The baby's movements were good. The fluid levels looked fine. The placenta still looked a little questionable since it's got some holes in it but he told us not to worry about that because they do see that from time to time and he doesn't think that it will become a problem in the next week to come. The baby measured 5 lbs 12 oz which is up 4 oz so our little one is continuing to grow...it's just not as much weight as they expect most babies to be putting on during the last few weeks. But he said he's not worried as long as the baby keeps moving. So...we go down on Monday for our final check-up...they'll see how far dialated I am and then depending on that we either have to be in on Wednesday night to get the ball rolling or Thursday morning! So...in less than a week we can stop calling this baby Baby Feldman and actually have a real name to call him or her! I'll post a few new ultrasound pictures for everyone...let's see if you can actually tell what you are looking at! Sometimes I think only a mother (and dad...Jon's getting really good at seeing what's in these pictures) can really tell what they are looking at! Well, I guess that's all the news we have for now! Thanks again for checking in on us and for all your prayers! God is definitely at work here!

This picture is a profile of the baby...he or she is laying this way --> And he or she also has it's little hand in it's mouth! I told Jon we need to hurry up and get some pacifiers! I don't want a thumb sucker! You can at least take a pacifier away!

Here's another one of the baby's face...the baby is laying this way --> And his or her little hand and arm are covering it's eyes! It almost looks like it's sticking it's lips out or has it's lips pressed against something! And look at those chubby cheeks and little chin and little nose (or big nose...can't quite tell!). But like I said...I think I appreciate these pictures much more than anyone else!:)